During a conversation with someone the other day about our pending adoption, she said that she had some fertility troubles in the past, but that her husband was not “comfortable” with adopting a child. I have heard that same sentiment from other people before. They think that they could not love a child the same as if they give birth to it, or if it does not have their DNA. While I understand why some people would have some reservations about adoption, the idea that you couldn’t love a child not born to you is inconceivable to me. But then again, I have some personal experience with being adopted.
My mom raised me a single parent for the first three years of my life. My biological father, although he was 27 when I was born, told my mom he wasn’t prepared to be a parent and has not been a part of my life for even a second. I know his name and what city he lives in, and that’s where it begins and ends. He reached out to me once when I was 18, but honestly I just don’t need him in my life. When I have a dad like mine, why would I?
My mom met and fell in love with my father, Barry Hampton, when I was two. They married just a week after my third birthday. He legally adopted me sometime later that year. I have no memories of meeting him, getting to know and love him, or of the wedding. I was just too young. So I have the benefit of him ALWAYS being my daddy in my mind.
My dad and his family took my mom and me in and immediately made us a part of their family. I was the first grandchild to my new grandparents, the first niece to my aunt and uncle. My grandparents were thrilled to have their first grandchild, and began spoiling me with attention and gifts, like any good grandparents would. My “Aunt Cus” and “Cousin Nany” as many of you have heard me talk about over the years, did the same with me as their niece. Never ever for one second in the 37 years since we became a family, has anyone in my dad’s family made me feel different because I did not have their DNA. In fact, so much so, that sometimes we all forget and make jokes about me getting characteristics from some of them.
I always thought about adopting a child someday, and when Scott and I could not have any more biological children after Jared, I knew adoption was the answer for us to build a family. (Insert Gracie’s adoption story here…and now Khomers.) I can tell you, just like I am sure my dad would, that there is absolutely no difference in how I feel about or love my children. Think about it…You can love your spouse, your in-laws, your sister-in-law, etc. and they do not have your DNA. So why would a child need it in order to be loved?
My dad is my dad in every sense of the word. He provided for my every need as a child. He continues to support, love, and encourage me in all that I do as an adult. Sometimes I feel almost guilty when I see others who have a poor relationship or no relationship with their biological fathers. What did I do to get so lucky to have my dad brought into my life?
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Words cannot express how much I love you, and how grateful I am to you for loving me.
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